if u watch closely while i take tests u can see me mouthing profanity at the test paper
i’m all for boys wearing makeup mostly because if more of them got into it there’d be a bigger market and it wouldn’t cost $25 for an eyeshadow primer anymore
i can’t wait to go into the makeup aisle to get the latest man-color of guyshadow that comes in containers shaped like bullets and footballs
"Bruh I just went to sephora and got the sickest shade of eyeshadow"
"Sick dude what’s it called"
"Monster truck gas fumes"
*sees a pic of a skinny person* *inspired for 11 seconds*
i secretly like getting assigned seats in school because it takes away that awkward “i have no friends in this class where the fuck am i gonna sit” factor
when ur plant dies
there was a big explosion sound outside and i pulled aside my curtain to see what it was but as i did so, so did the woman across the street and we both sort of waved at each other and it was nice even though something may have exploded
started from the bottom and i was somehow able to get lower
god dang i am on fire tonight
no u r not u make this up for note
bet u feel real stupid right now
if trees could talk i’d probably get emotionally attached to them